I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Houston, we have a blender
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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