well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
