Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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