I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
