TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
