yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
