In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
