Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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