I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
