Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize