Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize