You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
