Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize