I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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