people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
