peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
