If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
barbara walters just said penis...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
