I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And then my night got REAL pukey
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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