my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
