I showed him my bush... on skype.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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