I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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