I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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