so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize