he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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