I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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