Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
