Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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