Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do vagina's smell?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
