You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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