Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
