Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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