508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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