I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
