Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
