I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize