I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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