My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
