I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
