Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
