she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize