I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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