If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
When are your genitals available?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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