Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize