bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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