dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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