I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
