No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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