We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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