His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
