I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
