so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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