Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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