Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
