he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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