I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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