So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
