So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
