I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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