this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
