I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
