hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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