bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
