That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
