Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
