What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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