Screwed.edu
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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