turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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