By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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