Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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